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There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel
But what if it’s so dark I can’t see if I’m going the right way
What if I wanted to take my dying flame away
What if I want to start another fire, force the light
Would I be alright
I would give pain to anyone to end my own
I just wanna feel like I have a home
To go to when I can’t see the light, only a shadow
When I’m running out of time and can’t see tomorrow
When the pain is just too great
When it’s too much to estimate
That there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

But those sayings don’t help when I’m stuck in the dark
At night with thoughts of death leaving me marks
Forcing me to use clothes to hide myself with
‘It’ll get better!’... yeah that’s just a myth
I feel at this point I was always meant to fail
I guess I was never tough as nails
I was hiding my pain every time that I lied
Putting a smile on my face, burying my emotions inside
Why won’t these thoughts ever leave my brain
The pressure is too much, it’s driving me insane!
But there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel 

No one can help, I feel so alone
Hiding these feelings is harder than stone
I’ve been sitting in shadows, not seeing the light
Trapped in the darkness of this everlasting night
I wish it wouldn’t end like this
But it’s not like I’m the one people will miss
Why must I carry this unbearable weight
People have tried to help me but I guess it’s too late
I’m not strong enough to keep going in this god awful life
I find my survival at the end to a knife
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

And now my lights gone and it’s just not fair
To all my loved ones who actually cared 
About how I felt each and every day
But kept it to themselves and didn’t say
How important I was to them
My parents, my family my friends
Those whose tunnels are darker now 
Because I blew away their flames they wonder how
I could let mine die
Sadly no answers were found
While I lay in my coffin deep underground
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Footnote from the author: 

Dear readers, I wanted to let you all know that I wrote this piece in a really hard time in my life and since then I have found a great support system and gotten myself some help. This poem shows my lowest point, at the time I didn’t think I would ever be happy again, but that wasn’t true. Although my mental health is still a journey, I no longer feel this way and haven’t felt this low in a really long time.