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Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions. My boyfriend broke up with me, I had surgery and I still managed to get through final exams at university.

The break up hit me pretty hard to say the least. I didn't see it coming and was shattered. I'm fairly open about my mental health issues and know that has certainly taken a hit as well.

The surgery went fine. Although it was the week after the break up so I had expected to be supported by my boyfriend- since I didn't see the relationship ending, that made things a bit more difficult as I was thinking he would be there to care for me and help me stay calm with the fears of the looming procedure.

My body has reacted very physically to the loss of the relationship. For a few weeks I was vomiting as my body was so upset. Then it became difficult to eat as I didn't want to get sick when I ate.

I sought out help from the get go after the break up occurred. I got a psychiatrist appointment for two days after the break up (wow! I was lucky they had an opening) and saw my Dr. at the university. We talked about everything going on and how it's affecting me.

Throughout all of this I've tried to get all the help I could as I know my mental health took a hard hit.
I called Good2Talk, a helpline that operates 24/7 for Ontario's post secondary students. They are trained counsellors who can help you get help for mental health and addictions issues. You can also talk to them about anything that's on your mind. Their number is 1 866-925-5454.

Tonight, I was laying in bed and the lyrics to a song popped in my head. I hadn't heard this song in quite some time so I don't know why it just came to me. It was strange. The song was "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer. As the song played out in my head and I decided to listen to it online from my phone I made the connection that my relationship felt that way as described in the song, reflecting back on it as it came to an end. It was important and therapeutic to make this connection. Music is special and allows us to find the words we're missing to express what we're feeling.

I've done a lot of reflection recently recognizing that this wasn't a healthy relationship. I didn't feel supported in my values, passions and where I want to go in life. That is important to me so it's for the best. It's difficult right now but I'll get through it.

It's important to get help if you recognize you need it. Talk to those around you and rally support from others. Don't be afraid to ask for help. That's what it's here for.