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No one likes being put down
Q: Right now I'm really struggling with self esteem. I try to tell myself it doesn't matter what others think or what others say, but I still get self conscious. I want to stand out and speak my mind but as soon as I make up my mind to say something, a voice in my head tells me that others will think I'm even more of a freak and I back down.
A: It’s important for us to decide whether or not we will allow our worries of what 'others think' stop us from acting and being who we truly are. As long as we are not harming other people or ourselves, choosing to be true to who we are is so important. Choosing to be who you are regardless of other people's opinions is not always easy, especially in our school years - but it's possible!
No one likes being put down. I have learned that what someone says or does says way more about them and their than it will ever say about you!
Worrying about losing friends because of our beliefs and values can interfere with believing in ourselves. It’s important to remember that those who put you down for your beliefs and your values are not friends. True friends accept us. One true friend is worth way more than many friends who don't accept you for You.
Being clear about the person that you truly are, will help you to make choices about your actions, attitudes and reactions. Even though you feel uncomfortable around certain people, knowing your true self will help you act in a way that stays true to You!
People will have their opinions but in the end you have the final say in what you choose to believe about yourself. Taking life One Good Choice at a Time is a great way to ‘push through’ any insecurity you may be feeling.
The first Good Choice is to replace all your negative, non-supportive thoughts with Positive, UPower thoughts.
FOR EXAMPLE: Your UPower thought might be - 'I choose to take a stand for what I believe.'
· At first your brain might tell you – ‘No you don’t’
· Write it down so that it is a constant reminder.
· Keep With It! The more you read it, think it, say it - the more your brain will believe it!
· It’s important to keep replacing those old negative thoughts with your New UPower thought!
It’s not always easy to choose to believe in yourself, but it does get easier and is worth the effort.
· Choose your thoughts wisely - your attitude depends on it!
· Choose to believe in YOU even when it feels like NO one else does.
· Choose to be who you truly are no matter where you are or who you're with - that’s using your UPower!
Until next time...
This has been 'my voice' but I respect this is your life - this is 'your choice'
P.S. If you are faced with a circumstance where you need help, one of the best UPower choices you can make is to Reach Out to your parents/adults, teachers, principals, counsellors, friends, www.mindyourmind.ca or www.kidshelpphone.ca to get the support you deserve. Keep reaching out until someone listens.
This is Sara Westbrookâ€™s â€œMy Voice Your Choiceâ€ column - a Q&A for youth on life issues. Sara answers Q's from youth in a way that promotes life tools and that encourages you to make responsible choices, giving you the power to create an extraordinary life. Learn more about Sara on her website.
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